Sometimes, usually when its unexpected, you have the best time ever. This weekend was one of those experiences and I'm still riding off the totall high it has given me. It was just so chilled out and relaxed and the weather was fabulous.
I LURVE hot weather and the sunshine has the capacity to make me so happy and it just makes me smile!
Yesterday I went to the zoo with some of my friends and it was so amazing. I havnt been to the zoo since I was a child and that was why we went, almost as if to relive parts of our childhood and have good, clean, innocent fun again.
The day rocked. We strolled around, were silly, had a laugh, ate an amazinf picnic and just lay in the grass breathing deep.
It was just what I needed. Afterwards it just felt like every cell in my body had been cleansed and they had all relaxed.
Today was once again sunny and beautiful. I was set up to meet this guy today by a friend and this isnt something that happens to me often. Usually meetings are ackward and fraught with a bucket load of "what ifs". Today I just went in a relaxed and open frame of mind.
We all had lunch and it went smoothly, even well I think. I'm not the most perceptive or observant of people but with my limited skills I think we had fun, we had lots to talk about (always good) and we seemed to at least have a similar attitude to life. I just hope he isnt just liking me cos he is so desperate to be with someone, anyone. I didnt think so but still....
After lunch we decided to walk home (to walk off our heavy desserts!) and some random, nice, cyclist told me I was "devastatingly beautiful" and asked me out!! well how very flattering!! Gave me an ego boost (which i think i needed!) and made my day, my flaming weekend!!! lol
Then to top that off, I got noticed again, by another cyclist, and got whisteled at. Well - there was something in the day today that was just going my way!! :-) total ego boost.
To round off what had been a fantastic afternoon me and my sis sat around our front lawn sunbathing and just chilling and chatting in the glorious sunshine.
A totally fantabulistic day. May I have many more like this!!
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
scrambled eggs for brains
I am 26 and life is totally complicated. I always thought I'd know exactly what I wanted to do and who I am and what I wanted to do by now but I totally don't!! I see my friends and family (as well as people in general) getting on with life and decisions and I want to be like them but just can't seem to manage it.
What is wrong with me??
Our little nuclear family just a long overdue, but very intense and emotional, family discussion. A lot was discussed however I just don't know how much was resolved.
I have a lot of faults. I need to adress them. Most of all I need to find a direction in life and STICK to it. I need to have a goal and work flat out to achieve it. Blood, sweat and tears are required.
Through no one elses fault but myy own I have wasted a LOT of my life. Bad decisions, laziness, depression, lack of motivation, illness - the excuses are many. None of them help.
The past is over and I am going to do my best not to think about it too much. I need, I think, to look forward and plan. Plan what to do, what will be best and what will work out.
1) I need to lose weight - this is imperitive for my health and my peace of mind. I want to be fit and healthy and I want to be able to look good. I want to be able to go shopping and find funky clothes that fit in reasonable sizes.
2) I need to stop being lazy and stop making excuses.
3) I need to be proactive and actively search for ways to improve my life.
4) I need to decide what to do and how best to do it. Goals. I need a direction.
5) I need to be truthful to myself.
6) I need to love myself for who and what I am. I need to feel secure in myself and have self-confidence.
7) I definately need to do something to improve my memory because I had two more goals and I can't remember them!!
I wish I was more liked by my immediate family. I wish I fit in with them. I really cannot see what I am doing wrong even though it is so clear to them. Is it that I am soo incredibly stubborn that even my subconscious is stubbornly not allowing me to see what it is that they are saying??
What I have running in place for my future right now is:
1) Teaching application
2) ESL abroad
3) Going back to the day job (must discuss this with the boss) and then improving my skills e.g. via management courses
My brain is so choc-full I dont even know what was discussed or what I mean to do; but I have got some of it down at least and I can read over it tomorrow and discuss it with myself.
I wish I had more clarity of though and was more self-analytical then I could sort myself and my mish-mash of a life out!
What is wrong with me??
Our little nuclear family just a long overdue, but very intense and emotional, family discussion. A lot was discussed however I just don't know how much was resolved.
I have a lot of faults. I need to adress them. Most of all I need to find a direction in life and STICK to it. I need to have a goal and work flat out to achieve it. Blood, sweat and tears are required.
Through no one elses fault but myy own I have wasted a LOT of my life. Bad decisions, laziness, depression, lack of motivation, illness - the excuses are many. None of them help.
The past is over and I am going to do my best not to think about it too much. I need, I think, to look forward and plan. Plan what to do, what will be best and what will work out.
1) I need to lose weight - this is imperitive for my health and my peace of mind. I want to be fit and healthy and I want to be able to look good. I want to be able to go shopping and find funky clothes that fit in reasonable sizes.
2) I need to stop being lazy and stop making excuses.
3) I need to be proactive and actively search for ways to improve my life.
4) I need to decide what to do and how best to do it. Goals. I need a direction.
5) I need to be truthful to myself.
6) I need to love myself for who and what I am. I need to feel secure in myself and have self-confidence.
7) I definately need to do something to improve my memory because I had two more goals and I can't remember them!!
I wish I was more liked by my immediate family. I wish I fit in with them. I really cannot see what I am doing wrong even though it is so clear to them. Is it that I am soo incredibly stubborn that even my subconscious is stubbornly not allowing me to see what it is that they are saying??
What I have running in place for my future right now is:
1) Teaching application
2) ESL abroad
3) Going back to the day job (must discuss this with the boss) and then improving my skills e.g. via management courses
My brain is so choc-full I dont even know what was discussed or what I mean to do; but I have got some of it down at least and I can read over it tomorrow and discuss it with myself.
I wish I had more clarity of though and was more self-analytical then I could sort myself and my mish-mash of a life out!
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